Sunday, January 30, 2011

No Fear!

Since I'm still on the subject of characters, I thought this blog fest was heaven sent. Dominc over at Writes of Passage ( ) challenges our MCs to be brave. So we must post a scene where one of out characters shows some form of bravery.

I had a perfect scene, but then I realized it was either too long or too spoilery, so I dug up something old, from future books, not yet edited.(will have to edit this at some point) Here's my shot at it.

Muffled swearing and a woman’s scream brought Angie back to reality. She turned her head in the direction of the noise and the blood froze in her veins. A bunch of men were making their way through the crowd, towards them.

She grabbed Tom’s wrist and pulled him after her, moving faster and faster through the swarm of people.

“What’s going on?” he asked, fighting against her grip. “Why are we running?”

Oh, she had no time for this! Digging her fingers into his arm, she tugged even harder. She could hear more screams and sounds of stalls being turned over. The men were surely trying to catch them.

Tom picked up the pace and running became much easier. Angie pulled him into a narrow side street and the two of them bolted towards its exit. Maybe they’d manage to lose them in the maze of streets.

Two turns later, they found themselves in a dingy alley ending in a solid brick wall. Angie cursed under her breath, her pulse thundering in her ears. What now?

“Angie, what’s going on?” Tom asked, pulling his hand out of hers.

The sound of a trashcan being turned over made Angie’s heart jump. They were still being followed. She gazed around frantically, looking for a way out, but they’d have no time to run out of the alley and go another way. She had to do something and fast.

She grabbed Tom’s shoulders and shoved him towards a large dustbin in the corner. “Whatever happens, don’t come out!”

He frowned. “What are you—“

“Don’t come out, I said! Trust me.” She took a few steps back, to make sure he was well hidden.

At that very moment, three massive figures blocked the exit of the alley. Angie turned to face them. They were much bigger than the men she usually dealt with. She backed up until her back hit the wall.

“Told ya fellows it wasn’t a waste of time!” the man in the middle said as the three advanced towards her. “Now there, girly, where’s your friend?”

Angie balled her hands into fists and waited. They weren’t getting any information out of her. Whatever happened, they mustn’t know Tom was still alive.

“Isn’t that cute? She wants to fight.” The man on the right rubbed his hands together. “You’re mighty pretty, aren’t you? Don’t make us hurt you. You might even like it.”

Feeling sick to her stomach, Angie bent her knees and raised her fists in front of her torso. “Just try to touch me, you slime balls.”

“Hold on. Before we rough her up too bad, let’s see if she’s on the list.” The man in the middle reached for his satchel and pulled out a folder.

“Anyway, she’s on my list.” Lefty licked his lips.

“What do you know? She is one of them!” Satchel guy looked from the folder to Angie, his eyes wide with wonder. “Angela Jones, known as Angie. Oh, the boss is gonna love this. Let’s see which one of the brats is nailing her.”

Oh no, you don’t! Angie rushed forward and punched the man in the stomach as hard as she could. He bent double and she hit his back with joined fists. The man dropped to his knees. Angie hit the back of his neck, knocking him out.

She barely managed to grab the folder off the ground when the other two goons snapped out of their shock. They each grabbed one of her arms and rammed her into the wall. They pulled her back, turned her around, and forced her against the rough brick again.

Trying to avoid hitting her face, Angie stuck her knee out. A piercing pain shot through her knee and shoulder, causing her to gasp.

“Not so brave now, are ya?” One of the men backhanded her across the face.

She fell to the ground, hitting her sore knee against the rough concrete. Tears of pain streamed down her cheeks as she tried to stand, but her week knee couldn’t hold her anymore.

“Let’s get it over with.” The man who’d hit her unlatched his belt.

“Wait. If she’s one of the girlfriends, the boss will get mad,” his companion said, his eyes darting towards the end of the alley.

“What the boss don’t know, can’t hurt him.”

Panic grabbed hold of Angie and she looked around desperately for something she could use as a weapon. Why couldn’t they just take her away like good henchmen? Tears clouded her vision as the two goons approached her, cheesy grins on both their faces, blocking out the little light that shone between the buildings.

One of them fell over her and she screamed. The other looked around, holding on to his pants. Tom grabbed his shoulder, rammed him against the wall and punched him in the stomach. He groaned and fell to the ground. Tom kicked him in the ribs once and then in the face, knocking him out.

The remaining man got off her and charged towards Tom. Looking sickened, Tom kicked him straight in the face, knocking him down. A moment later, he had grabbed all three knocked out men and stuffed them in the dustbin.

He knelt by Angie’s side and helped her sit. “Are you alright?”

“Where did that come from?” She couldn’t believe it. Last time she’d seen him fight, he wasn’t like this. They were almost evenly matched. But now, he moved with such speed and confidence.

“Trust me, I have no idea where that came from.” He scooped her into his arms. “Let’s get out of here before more of them show up. I can’t believe what they wanted to do to you.”

Angie leaned her head against his chest and breathed in deeply. Her ribs hurt a little, but it didn’t matter, not when he’d saved her again. How could she have ever doubted him?

“You know, Angie?” he said as they made their way through the crowd, towards the orphanage. “You were right. You can take care of yourself.”

She smiled. “I know. But it’s always nice to have you around to back me up. Thanks.”

He huffed. “I would’ve come out much sooner, but I thought I should listen to you at least once in my life. Remind me not to.”

Angie chuckled. This was something he would’ve said before. Maybe there was a chance he’d get his memory back. And even if he didn’t, he still had everything that had made her fall in love with him in the first place.


  1. Great entry Stephanie. I was convinced that Angie was going to unleash some supernatural powers (or mere super-powers!) but the fact that it was just her against three men made her actions all the more brave.

    Well done you created great tension and characters we can care about.


  2. Now I'd like her on my side! I was hooked into the scene and tension straight away. Good piece!

  3. It's good to meet you. I've followed your blog.

    This piece is fabulously written and gripping, and it finishes on a really nice touching note. I like the baddies ending up in dustbins.

    Nice writing, thanks for sharing.

  4. I echo Dominic's comment. Knowing nothing about the setting or backstory, I assumed Angie had some powers or deadly fighting ability that she didn't want Tom to know about. The fact that she didn't made this incredibly brave. I'm so glad to see fighting female spirit coming out in books and movies these days, instead of simpering marshmallows.

  5. Ooo...I really like this because it didn't end the way I expected it to. Brilliant!

    No Fear Blogfest

  6. Great piece with a unexpected ending. I enjoyed reading it. You wrote the tension beautifully.

    Deven :)

  7. Love strong female characters! Way to go!


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