Monday, October 31, 2011

Night of Horror

Hi everyone,

Just so you know, in my little corner of the universe, there's no such thing as Halloween. Unfortunately (just like Valentine's day), Halloween is starting to become a habit here as well. And I say unfortunately, because there's no trick-or-treating for kids. Just parties in lame costumes for teenagers and grownups, held in expensive clubs with lots of drinks. And then, there's horror movie night at the cinema.

Which is what I did Saturday through Sunday. It wasn't bad. I love going to the movies. Only that this year, the movies were kinda crap. Plus I still have that annoying cold, so it was rather sniffy for me.

What I will do now, is a little movie review. I know I haven't done that before, so I'll try to keep it short and simple. Here's the movie list: Final Destination 5, Fright Night, Shark Night, Dream House and Contagion. I didn't see contagion because we got bored/annoyed/tired and left. And got some sleep :)

Final Destination 5

What's going on:  Due to some freak premonition, a bunch of people escape death on a bridge. Only death isn't happy and kills them off one by one in gory freak accidents (which implies people getting crushed/cut/thrown out the window - you know, likely stuff like that).

What I think: The idea is interesting, but why make FIVE freaking movies using the same damn theme? This is not a horror movie. This is a gross-out movie. So if you enjoy those types of films, this one might be for you. (I thought it was better than Saw 6 or 7 whichever the hell I watched last year).
My grade: 4

Fright Night


What's going on: Some kid finds out that his neighbor is Colin Farrel (nuff said), I mean a vampire and tries to protected himself from him, then kill him to save his girlfriend.


What I think: I actually enjoyed this movie because... it was funny. CGI monsters don't scare me in the least, so I laughed through the whole thing. It's kinda like Zombieland with vampires, so if you liked that one, you might enjoy this one, too. So, no, this was not horror either.
My Grade: 6.5


Shark Night


What's going on: Some kids go on an island in the Bayou and are almost all killed by freakish sharks that are there for some lame reason, because they just couldn't stay the ef out of the watter.


What I think: This movie is like Scooby Do with sharks. The villains have a Scooby Do like plan (make money with sharks eating people videos - WTF?) and there's a dog there that kinda saves the day.

This movie was incredibly retarded. Here are a few examples as to why: in one scene, a guy out-swims a shark while carrying a human hand (don't ask how he found that). In the next scene, same shark out-swims a motorboat going extremely fast - so, yeah. There's an inserted plot device. The hero (who was wearing swimming trunks and a hoodie and didn't smoke) suddenly pulls out a lighter to burn off the plastic tying his hands together.... um, okay. There are stupid people. The MC cry-girl is shoved in a cage and thrown in the water for sharks to eat - only she can fit between the bars and get out - but she doesn't seem to realize that.

Lol, I ranted a lot on this one. I laughed out loud because it was THAT stupid. So, no, this was not horror either.
My grade: 2 (that's actually just for the entertainment value)

Dream House


What's going on: Some editor guy quits his job and moves into a small town with his family. While there, he finds out that the house was the scene of a crime. Big spoiler - he's the one who supposedly murdered his family there and his family is one big hallucination.


What I think: This movie wasn't half-bad. Except it was too much of a rip-off of Shutter Island. I personally loved Shutter Island and thought it a very smart movie. This one asks for a bit of intelligent thought and then simply insults your intelligence. In an effort to not make it a complete rip off, he finds out pretty fast that he's imagining that stuff and wants to find his family's killer (even if it's him). Well, it's not him, it's the neighbor who sent an assassin to kill his wife (for Scooby Do like reasons), and the guy got the wrong house. So... no, the conclusion is pretty darn retarded.
My Grade: 6.5 (for trying to be smart, I guess)

So this is it. Meanwhile, tomorrow is Nov 1st, which means NaNo is starting! I'm so excited about that. I'll keep everyone up to date with what I'm doing.

2 comments:

  1. I haven't seen any of these movies, though I really want to see Fright Night. Have you seen the original version?

    ReplyDelete
  2. No, I haven't seen it, but I've read that this was a pretty good remake. Anyway, it's funny, and I think, worth the watch ;)

    ReplyDelete

Show me the love :)